Are you the mighty ruler of your household's TV remote? Take our quiz

DO you rule the viewing habits of your household with an iron fist? Find out with this quiz.

Do you frequently change channel without warning?

A) No. I seek collective agreement before switching over. And we take it in turns to pick box sets to stream.

B) Yes. Even if everyone else was enjoying what was on. I wasn’t and that’s all that matters.

Do you replay scenes multiple times for your own amusement?

A) If somebody asks to see something again I’ll usually oblige. But I wouldn’t want to spoil everyone’s viewing pleasure by randomly rewinding without warning.

B) You don’t? It’s rare for me to get through an entire programme without rewinding it to point out continuity errors. I pay my licence fee, I can do what I like.

Are you a fan of pausing TV to look up trivia?

A) Somebody might look information up during an ad break. We don’t pause though, that upsets your concentration.

B) As if I’m going to wait a couple of hours to find out which other films Ryan Gosling has been in. That valuable information needs to be researched immediately.

Are you constantly tweaking the TV’s sound and colour?

A) We find the default settings to be perfectly acceptable.

B) Of course. Some programmes filmed in SD look washed-out and need extra colour saturation. Although I can never learn how to switch it back to normal.

Do you take the remote to the loo?

A) No. That would be extremely unhygienic. And stupid if you can’t see the TV anyway.

B) Yes, I of course I can’t see the TV in the upstairs bathroom but I refuse to relinquish my power.


Mostly As: You are a fair and just ruler of your household’s TV remote. In other words you have no influence over it and are a mere passenger of other people’s viewing habits. Grow a pair and be more petty and controlling.

Mostly Bs: You are the tyrannical despot of the remote control. Look out for coups and separatist movements who would try to remove you from power. When you’re at the top, the only way is down.

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Five unpleasant foods pathetic social climbers eat to look 'posh'

DESPERATE to go up a social class or two? Choke down this disgusting food to fit in with all the other ‘posh’ people.


If God had intended you to eat raw fish, He would have made you a seal. Rice wrapped in seaweed tastes as unappetising as it sounds, but posh people love it so you’re going to have to hold your nose and take a bite. There’s a higher risk of getting worms too, but you’s prefer that to being stuck in the lower echelons of society with the scum.

Rocky Mountain oysters

Not the usual ball of snot from the bottom of the sea. This is in fact a cleverly-worded way of saying ‘sheep’s bollocks’. Quite why the rich would consider a food usually found in a Bushtucker Trial to be a swanky delicacy is a mystery. Then again, they like to go fox hunting and wear stupid hats to Ascot, so logic is clearly not their strong point.

Foie gras

A speciality among rich twats, this French dish also has an abstract name for a good reason. If it were given a literal English translation it would instead be called: force-fed liver of a suicidal duck or goose with a f**king funnel down its throat. Ironically, you’d have to be force-fed this meal after learning its real origins. It will definitely impress at the golf club though.


Normal people wouldn’t dream of eating fish roe instead of something more appealing like a sausage roll from Greggs. But if you want to climb the class ladder then you’re going to have to develop an appetite for this expensive, salty sludge. No wonder the sturgeon it comes from is now incredibly rare, high society knobheads keep eating its eggs.


Or, as regular people would call it, a cheese and meat board. It’s essentially a selection of all the nibbles you would graze on over Boxing Day while slumped in front of the telly, only with a pretentious French name so the wealthy don’t feel like plebs. Why bother trying to be posh though when charcuterie boards don’t include Billy Bear ham?