Wednesday, 12th August 2020

Ars*holes make guests take their shoes off

A TOTAL ars*hole couple demand that everyone remove their shoes before entering their home. 

Emma and Marcus Bradford recently invited their friends around for dinner and drinks without any warning that they would be be forced to spend the night in socks or barefoot.

Carolyn Ryan said: “They stopped us in the porch and ordered us to remove our shoes like we knew the rules when we agreed to attend their foot fetishist party.

“I was wearing new boots so hadn’t worried about the old Christmas socks with a hole in the left toe I had on underneath, which promptly became the focal point of my outfit for the evening.

“But I got off lightly. One guy clearly had athlete’s foot and Kelly had matching bunion plasters. The whole place stank of feet. It put me right off my veal parmigiana.

“I wouldn’t mind but they haven’t even got special carpets. And if you’re going to make everyone walk round shoeless, hoover up first? I had bits stuck to my heel.”

Hostess Emma Bradford said: “It’s a psychological thing that allows us to establish dominance right from the outset. Our house our rules, bitches.”