Bringing screaming children into restaurants apparently legal

BRINGING small screaming children into restaurants is legal, it has been claimed.

Diners at a restaurant in Bristol discovered the ‘law’ after a woman brought her two noisy infant children with her and at no point did anyone call the police.

Julian Cook said: “As soon as they both started screaming and crying I thought ‘I wish we hadn’t just ordered our starters’.

“But the way I figured it, the police would be along any second to take the children and their mum away and allow us to eat our meal in pleasant silence.

“Then when our mains arrived and the children were still screaming, I thought I should maybe ask the waiter when the police would be arriving.

“He just stared at me blankly and then said it wasn’t illegal to bring screaming, crying children into a restaurant.

“I would like to know if it used to be illegal or whether it’s never been illegal.”


Sign up now to get
The Daily Mash
free Headlines email – every weekday

Man who handed in notice definitely won't be dicking around for a month

A MAN who has just handed in notice will definitely be giving his employer 100 percent for the next month.

Tom Logan formally quit the job he hates on Monday, and has every intention of giving one hundred percent even though it cannot possibly make any difference now.

Speaking from his desk, with his feet up on a box and The Princess Bride on his computer screen, Logan said: “Don’t worry. I may be leaving this shithole but I’ll be doing the right thing and leaving the job in a good place for the next person. Pass that ashtray.”

He added: “Just because they won’t bother firing me now, doesn’t mean I’ll be taking three hour lunch breaks and coming back utterly, utterly pissed.”

Logan is expected to see out the month before ensuring he can never come back after comments he makes at his leaving party.