Sunday, 27th September 2020

Couple eat so f**king late

A COUPLE eat their dinner so f**king late it is unbelievable, their friends have confirmed. 

Joe and Laura Turner regularly sit down for their evening meal when the time has reached double figures even on a weeknight, a practice which is viewed with utter bemusement.

Friend Tom Booker said: “They haven’t got kids so they don’t have to eat before six o’clock or base all their meals around fish fingers like we do, which I envy them for.

“But last week I called Joe at well past 10pm to see if he fancied going on GTA Online, and he said ‘Ah, we’re just sitting down for our dinner at the moment.’ My wife was already asleep in bed.”

Joanna Kramer agreed: “I’ve been round there for dinner on a work night and they don’t serve up until 11pm. By that time I’m so knackered I can barely get the fork in my mouth.

“Like, they’re not f**king Spanish. Where do they get off? The only way it’s acceptable to eat that late is if you’re blind pissed and it’s a kebab from a van.”