Friday, 3rd July 2020

Couple excited to invite friends round for a drink and a piss in their garden

A COUPLE are looking forward to lockdown easing enough to have friends over for a drink in their garden and a wee behind the shed.

Nikki and Steve Hollis are planning an elegant socially distanced cocktail party for six carefully chosen friends, who will be invited to take a slash somewhere outside when their bladders get too full.

Nikki Hollis said: “It’ll be lovely to see everyone again, but obviously we can’t let them in the house to use the toilet in case they spread coronavirus around.

“However, they’re welcome to make use of any discreet areas of the garden, for example the compost bin or the bit behind the garage that’s full of broken glass and nettles.

“Tom’s planning a barbecue with his signature spicy piri-piri chicken, which, combined with vast quantities of Prosecco, could lead to some people needing something more substantial than a wee.

“In that case, we’ll be sending them next door to use Mr Bishop’s lawn. His dog has crapped in our garden enough times, so we’re just returning the favour.”