Man interrupts woman to say he's a feminist

A MAN has interrupted a woman mid-sentence to inform her that he supports equal rights for women.

During a heated conversation about the equality of the sexes, Tom Booker displayed his innate respect for women by talking over housemate Mary Fisher in a loud, condescending voice.

Fisher said: “I -”

Booker added: “What Mary’s trying to say is that she can’t believe a guy like me who enjoys a pint and a kick about as much as the next bloke is also an ally of the feminist cause.

“If anything she’s the out-of-touch one for assuming otherwise. Just because I called Fleabag a load of boring girly claptrap doesn’t mean I can’t take an interest in their little issues.

“Women want it all, I get that. And nobody should stop them from buying shoes and having babies while juggling a high-flying career. It’s only fair.

“Anyway, egalitarian is a more accurate term. ‘Feminism’ leans a bit too much in women’s favour to be truly equal if you ask me. Which nobody ever has, weirdly.”

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Daily walks are boring as shit, admit Britons

PEOPLE in Britain have admitted that their daily walks are really f**king boring now.

Families have confirmed they are sick to the back teeth of putting one foot in front of the other along the same route with the same people every single day.

Emma Bradford said: “None of us want to go any more. I have to drag everybody out and then we all march up the road bickering until we can get back to watching Netflix on separate devices in different rooms.

“What started out feeling like part of our civic duty to stay fit and healthy during a time of national crisis has now become as much of a monotonous pain in the arse as the daily commute to work.

“I’ve started walking on my own now. Well, I say ‘walk’ but I actually mean ‘sit on the park bench with a flask of wine and cry’.”