Wednesday, 20th January 2021

Couple on wholesome New Year's walk still high

A COUPLE enjoying a bracing walk to welcome the new year are still off their faces from last night.

Ryan Whittaker and Lauren Hewitt began 2021 by blacking out at the end of a narcotics-heavy night in, before waking up fully dressed on the carpet at midday and heading out for an invigorating walk.

Whittaker said: “Just because we’re still gurning, it doesn’t mean we can’t appreciate the fresh air and sheer beauty of the open countryside.

“This is really going to blow the cobwebs away. And, hopefully, the remnants of these class A’s that are still coursing around my body.”

Hewitt added: “Our New Year’s walk is a real tradition, just like our New Year’s Eve tradition of meeting a dodgy man in a car park to score coke.

“We love being immersed in nature as it’s almost as good as being off your face on drugs. But not quite.”