Wednesday, 26th February 2020

Couple with sign saying 'This kitchen is for dancing' mainly use it for drinking

A KITCHEN with a twee little sign saying it is used for dancing is mainly used for getting hammered on Shiraz.

Francesca Johnson and Martin Bishop also use their kitchen for drunken arguments and leaving passive-aggressive notes about taking the bin out, but no actual dancing has taken place to date.

Johnson said: “The sign we have on the wall suggests we lead a life similar to Jamie and Jools Oliver where we prepare delicious meals whilst bopping around ecstatically to ‘Happy’ by Pharrell.

“The reality is very different. The closest I’ve got to dancing is swaying around to ‘Back To Black’ whilst necking a bottle of gin and consoling my friend about her divorce by telling her all men are scum.

“Martin smashed six mugs while listening to ‘Mr Brightside’ recently but I don’t think he was dancing, just trying to find the cooking sherry after getting home wasted after a night out.

“We might possibly have a dance in the kitchen tomorrow, but it’s more likely we’ll drink three bottles of wine and argue about filling the dishwasher.”