Dad certain kids will treasure all 500,000 photos he took of their childhood

A MAN is sure his kids will enjoy the half-million photos he took of their childhood despite it taking years to view them all.

Martin Bishop believes the pictures will be a source of joy, even though most of them depict tedious things, are badly framed and generally a waste of data.

Bishop said: “Every moment has been captured, from them watching TV to eating fish fingers. The kids won’t able to stop looking at these. All 501,228 of them.”

However daughter Lucy Bishop, 14, said: “These days we can’t do anything without taking a photo. Yesterday dad took a picture of me standing by the bin for some reason.

“Half a million doesn’t even include mum’s photos or the videos. The way it’s going I’ll be spending all my precious 20s looking at embarrassing pictures of teenage me covered in zits.

“It might be different if Dad was a decent photographer but he’s not. I’ll still be looking at pictures of the dog with its head missing when I’m 50.”

Martin Bishop added: “At the current rate of photo-taking the kids could have tens of millions of photos to treasure, if they’re not dead from old age.”


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Six incredibly stupid reasons for scrapping the TV licence

RIGHT-WINGERS have their sights set on getting rid of the BBC in its current form. But do their arguments stand up to scrutiny?

The BBC is too left-wing

So long as you forget about Andrew Neil, John Humphrys, Nigel Farage and the entire Question Time audience every week, plus others. They are all cancelled out anyway by the occasional gay alien on Doctor Who.

They’ve stopped making Dad’s Army

An idiotic decision. The 1970s sitcom set in World War 2 had loads of life left in it. They probably axed it to make room for a sitcom about a one-legged lesbian living with a transgender whale. That one no one has ever seen. 

There’s plenty of current affairs on Netflix

Netflix does stuff that’s ‘current’, like documentaries about a bloke in Iowa who poisoned 900 people in 1993, but he didn’t do it and it’s only just come to light. You’d be woefully ignorant of that if you only watched Newsnight.

It’s all rubbish anyway

David Attenborough, Strictly Come Dancing, Mock the Week, the news, Killing Eve – yep, BBC stormtroopers have to kick in people’s doors and make them watch those things at gunpoint.

We can watch the good stuff on UK Gold and Dave anyway

Yes. Anyone with any sense would prefer to watch old repeats of QI on a £29.99 a month Sky package than pay through the nose for the licence fee. 

I’m sick of people banging on about Fleabag

Fair enough.