ARE you signed up to a local community group like Nextdoor, WhatsApp or similar? Here are some of the odder posts that will puzzle you.
Where can I find a plumber?
Have you tried Google? Or maybe ask another human being, sometimes known as a ‘friend’ or ‘relative’. There isn’t a plumber shortage in the UK, so it’s not like trying to find a rogue physicist who will build you an atom bomb.
I’ve found a dead cat
The poster will report this tragic incident, but not have actually done anything about it. The description of the cat will be totally useless for any worried owner missing their moggie, eg. ‘It was a furry cat.’
A harmless post saying ‘Hope you’re all staying safe!’ will inevitably attract the attention of at least one loon who thinks wearing a mask in shops is the worst kind of fascism, and will start a furious argument with the original poster who was just being nice to people.
Attempting to sell things no one would ever want to buy
The sheer optimism of people trying to get rid of rubbish for a tiny profit is impressive. Do you need an ancient copy of Riders by Jilly Cooper, for 50p and which you’ll have to collect yourself? Or an old fax machine or some flip flops? Probably not.
Desperate pleas for human contact
‘I’m Graham. Just moved here to Station Avenue, would love to get to know people’, etc. But the post will never contain details of what Graham is interested in or the sort of people he’d like to meet. It’s unlikely anyone will ever reply for fear of meeting a clingy loner or a possible serial killer.