This is all Joe Biden's fault, says everyone actually responsible for it

THE events in Afghanistan are a tragedy and Joe Biden is to blame, according to all the people who directly caused them.

From other US presidents and the media to fanatical Taliban jihadis, everyone agrees the problem is fundamentally Biden.

A spokesperson for Donald Trump said: “Donald, who actually signed the withdrawal agreement with the Taliban, says this disaster is entirely on Biden’s shoulders and he always knows what he’s talking about. 

“Likewise the Taliban don’t go throwing blame about willy-nilly. They admit there’s no way they’d have done this if Joe wasn’t so old.”

The UK media has also confirmed that Biden caused the entire humanitarian disaster, and not George Bush, Tony Blair’s team, Rupert Murdoch, the arms industry, Saudi Arabia and Pakistan. 

Meanwhile a Taliban spokesman said: “It’s this bloody Biden guy. Say what you like about Osama Bin Laden, he was a high-achiever in his chosen field. It’s ridiculous to say 9/11 had anything to do with it.

“Kamala Harris must surely shoulder some of the blame too.”

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'We've only had five holidays since all this started' says tragic middle class family

AN unfortunate middle-class family has only managed a handful of expensive holidays since the pandemic began.

Since March 2020 the unlucky Cook family from North London have struggled to reach their full complement of exclusive foreign trips, making do with just the odd jaunt to France, Spain, Croatia, Italy or the Caribbean.

Father Julian Cook said: “The last year has been tough on everyone. But especially on my wife Fran, the kids and me. I mean, we haven’t lost anyone close – but all those air miles I’ve missed out on feels like a bereavement.

“At times my family and I have practically been prisoners in our own home, or in our second home in Provence or occasionally a villa in Tuscany.

“We haven’t even managed our trip to the Swiss Alps this year and skiing is essentially a basic human right.

“It’s the kids I feel worst for. We haven’t been able to take our daughter on her yearly trip to Disneyland. Plus, our son had to deal with all the stress of getting his GCSE grades after only a quick fortnight on Mustique.”

With the money they have saved this year, the Cooks plan to spend an entire month travelling Europe being completely unbearable in 2022.