Wednesday, 26th February 2020

Gay man on hen do would like to go home now

A GAY man attending a friend’s hen party has had more than enough of this now, it has been confirmed. 

Nathan Muir came along to Donna Sheridan’s hen do in Cardiff on the basis that it would be ‘a right laugh’ but has instead spent the entire evening horrified at what women do when alone.

He said: “Just because I like cock doesn’t mean I want to drink a mimosa through a miniature plastic one.

“I’m mates with her fiance Andy as well, but I thought this would be more fun than paintballing. Instead I’m painting a ceramic willy mug I made in a Pottery & Prosecco session.

“The head bridesmaid made me pay £15 for a personalised and frankly offensive ‘BUMBOY’ sash, and tonight everyone’s getting shellac nails. Which sound fairly permanent and I’m at Spurs on Thursday.

“There’s still a day-and-a-half left and there’s a penis life-drawing class, a penis ring-toss and a penis-themed baking competition still to go. And the strippers.

“I’m up to my eyeballs in penis. It’s like Berlin 2017 all over again.”