GLAMPING is exactly like staying at a posh hotel except you have to defecate into a hole in the ground, it has emerged.
25-year-old Nikki Hollis, who recently attended a two-day pampering and glamping hen party, was assured the trip would be ‘just like a five-star resort’.
Hollis said: “Yes, it was exactly the same. I stayed in an expensive spa hotel once and we also had to trudge across a muddy field in the middle of the night to use the outhouse.
“Wait, no we didn’t, because we’re not 18th century peasants.
“You can’t flush the composting toilet so you know exactly what the person before you has done, which you don’t really want unless you’re a weirdo like Gillian McKeith.
“It’s basically shitting in the ground like a wild animal, except you do it onto sawdust like a slightly more domesticated animal.”
Owner of the ‘glampsite’ Mary Fisher said: “We have top-of-the range facilities. It could easily be the Ritz, if their toilets were full of other people’s turds.”