Gluten-free brownies mostly compost

GLUTEN-free brownies contain the same ingredients as a bag of old, dried up compost from B&Q, it has been confirmed.  

A gluten-free bakery confirmed they bulk buy massive sacks of compost and cut them into wedges with a trowel.

A source said: “We used to use actual ingredients to create brownies, but our customers have been unable to taste the difference. In fact, some have praised them as being some of the moistest brownies available to the gluten-free market.

“Our secret is to add a bit of rainwater and serve them on a fancy plate or stone slab, depending on how pretentious we’re feeling – and what they’ve got available at the garden centre.”

The source added: “You should try our gluten-free ‘chocolate pies’.”