DAD here. If you’re running out of light bulbs and bin-liners it’s because you didn’t stock up. Here’s how I’ll get through the post-Brexit years with tinned sweetcorn to spare:
Quantity over quality
Get your priorities straight: quantity is key. Yes the shower gel makes your pubes itch, the washing-up liquid is kumquat-scented and the liquid soap is unpleasantly spunky in appearance. But that only means you’ll use less of them so they’ll last longer.
Sell-by dates are advisory
They’re just covering themselves against lawsuits with those things. Yes, some of the items further back in the garage technically went off when Blair was prime minister, but a baked bean is a baked bean no matter which side of the millenium it was canned.
Compromise
If you want the best discounts you’re going to have to settle for products you wouldn’t normally buy or actively dislike. You may hate fish, but if it’s frozen seafood mix that’s on offer, it’s frozen seafood mix you’re stacking in your trolley. Anyone can develop a taste for questionably sourced crustaceans if they try.
Never take a day off
Finding bargains means never relaxing your guard: not at the weekend, not on holiday, never. Remember when I found that incredible discount store in Whitby and we all drove home with crates of batteries on our knees? Brilliant day out. And we’re still using those batteries.
Go pro
If you want to take it to the next level, bluff your way into a cash and carry. The joy of purchasing twenty four-litre bottles of Daz will offset the vertebrae you fuse hoisting them into the car boot. And with those savings you can treat yourself to an inflatable hot-tub you’ll never use.
