A MUM wearing a DryRobe on the school run has come fresh from a strenuous cold-water swim at the beach, she has implied.
Nikki Hollis of Derby acted as if her DryRobe was entirely appropriate clothing for dropping her children off at primary school more than 70 miles from the nearest coast.
She said: “So practical after a cold water swim. Yes, of course I’ve done one, why else would I be in a playground wearing a waterproof towelling-lined cape designed for surfers?
“After all, it being a bit overcast wouldn’t excuse an overpriced status symbol like this, not practical in the least for my current activity except you don’t have to wear a bra underneath. So I must have been swimming, mustn’t I?
“Yes, it’s purely for the utility that I’m wearing a £165 changing robe, protecting my modesty for when I plunge into a body of open water somewhere nearby. No need to specify where. If you know, you know.
“How could wearing a highly specialised piece of sports clothing possibly be an attention-seeking fad? This pink-lined camouflage one was clearly designed to blend into the background.
“I definitely don’t just wear it morning, noon and night, like I’m a member of a middle-class religious order. It’s for swimming. So invigorating! I imagine I’ll go for another immediately before 3pm.”
She added: “Why have I driven here in a 4×4? Because I have to come offroad.”
