Wednesday, 20th January 2021

Independent career woman can't wait to lie on parents' sofa for two weeks

A DRIVEN, self-reliant career woman has three days left before a fortnight vegging out in her parents’ lounge over Christmas, she has confirmed. 

Carolyn Ryan, known in her office for her professionalism and formidable skill with big-budget corporate clients, is planning to do no more than sit on her arse eating Quality Street two-handed.

Ryan said: “I love my career. I own my own home. I’ve got a boyfriend I’m serious with.

“But what keeps me going through the year is the prospect of two weeks where I go back to mum and dad’s, who are in my support bubble so it’s fine, claim the sofa with a blanket and do f**k all while everyone leaves me alone.

“From the evening of December 23rd to January 5th, all expectations that I feed, clean or clothe myself go out the window. I fully intend to lie in my own filth watching The Good Wife while my dad brings me cups of tea.”

“There’s a reason they call it the most wonderful time of the year.”

She added: “If the office calls they can bugger off. The wifi’s crap here. Also I’ll be covered in mince pie bits and won’t have washed my hair in five days.”