CONCERNED that not everyone in the UK knows about your high income? Why not kick up a massive fuss about it?
Write to a newspaper for advice
Feign concern about your enormous income, multiple homes or large capital sums. Questions can include ‘Is it realistic to retire at 35 on my pension of £200k a year?’, ‘How do I manage my six-property retirement portfolio?’ and ‘I forgot I own a controlling interest in Monster Beverages’.
Appear in the Home section of the Sunday Times
Earn so much that your talentless spouse, who enjoys a large private income, fancies themselves an interior designer? Belgravia townhouse full of vintage shit? Then you deserve a double-page spread showing off your artfully-placed rusty printing plates hanging on your Portland stone wall.
Share your wisdom with poorer friends
Ideally through a newspaper, advise pals who are saving for a deposit on a two-bedroom flat in Zone 8 that they should have bought 60 Bitcoins back in 2013, like you did. Obviously it was risky and they should only invest what they can afford to lose, which is why you only put £45 grand in.
Give out down-to-earth economising tips
There’s a cost of living crisis, so publicise your sacrifices. You’ve cut your flight budget to business class? Got rid of your driver? Decided to gift a Picasso to the nation to reduce your tax bill? Admit it and inspire others to follow suit. After all, everyone’s going through it.
Start a consultancy
Why let your wisdom go to waste? Found a consultancy, complete with YouTube channel and podcast, so it can be available to everyone to a fee. Headlines such as ‘Financially free at 40, but fulfilled?’ and ‘Following your dream: a guide to harnessing your wealth’ will bring in clients who are even bigger tossers than you.