A WOMAN who attempted to cut her own fringe has told Britain there can be no relaxing of lockdown until 2021.
Nikki Hollis, aged 35, has confirmed there is no chance of life returning to normal after giving herself an overambitious pandemic haircut so quarantine measures must remain in place until January or it grows back, whichever comes first.
She continued: “I regret the disruption this will cause to British lives and businesses, but if you could see the ruin of my fringe you would understand.
“I gave my Girl’s World better haircuts than this when I was little. I don’t know what possessed me.
“One minute I was standing in front of the bathroom mirror with the kitchen scissors, and the next thing I know I‘m surrounded by hair looking like an extra from Girl, Interrupted.
“Obviously lockdown is stressful and horrible and ruining the economy, but I regret we’ll have to stick with it until this monstrosity is at least long enough to clip back. And until there’s a vaccine or whatever.”
Hollis has joined an online support group for quarantine haircuts, largely full of men who clippered their hair only to discover it is not growing back.