Mother has new appreciation of what's important and it's childcare

A MOTHER of two children under five has realised that nothing is more vital to a happy life than someone else looking after the kids.

Payroll manager Carolyn Ryan is working from home while looking after a two-year-old and four-year-old, and now understands that what really matters is nurseries and grandparents.

She said: “I used to worry that I was in some way damaging them by sending them to childcare. But being home with me is the trauma from which they may never recover.

“This time together’s giving me time to decide what childhood I want for my little poppets, and it’s one where I’m not losing my shit at them for demanding I play Jumpy Hop Horse with them again.

“Nothing can match the care and attention a professional can give my children, compared to my half-arsed attempts at shoving crisps in them while they play Fortnite.

“And it’s important to me as well; to not just be a mother, or a worker, but an actual f**king human being with a life that’s more than between 9pm when they go to bed and 10pm when I do.”

Ryan’s mother Celia said: “Raising young children is the toughest and most important job on earth, which is why I’ve always advised Carolyn to stick to payroll.”

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Holding your breath when you pass someone and other new pandemic habits

EVERYTHING has changed, and every stranger or shiny surface is potentially a vector of infection. Here are the new habits you’ve picked up:

Holding your breath while walking past someone

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Resenting anyone who talks in the supermarket

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Starting an underground tennis club

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Keeping a baseball bat behind the door in case the virus takes on human form

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