A SWEET pensioner’s favourite hobby is to visit her local park and throw food to its diseased pests.
Mary Fisher, 72, enjoys knitting blankets and playing bridge with her friends from the bowls club, but admits nothing beats the thrill of disappearing into a swarm of rodents and birds with a massive bag of bread crumbs.
Passer-by Francesca Johnson said: “I can understand throwing the odd scrap to the ducks. That’s standard old lady behaviour. But this park doesn’t have a duck pond, and instead she’s nurturing its population of increasingly fat vermin.
“The pigeons are now so obese they can barely fly, and the squirrels are getting so big that dogs on walks are intimidated by them. It doesn’t help that she doesn’t tear up the bread anymore, she’s feeding them full slice after full slice.
“I swear she’s the only reason the council has put up those ‘do not feed the animals’ signs. Not that they make any difference. She’s there day in, day out, disrupting the food chain while grinning like a weirdo.”
Fisher said: “I also feed the foxes in my front garden. It makes my neighbours livid, but they can’t say anything because I’m a sweet little old lady. It’s f**king hilarious.”