Man beginning to think he should own more than two pairs of trousers

A 35-YEAR-OLD man feels that at this stage in his life he should probably own more than two pairs of trousers.

Tom Logan came to the conclusion after his usual pair of jeans got wet in the rain and his other pair of trousers – also jeans, but black – were still in the wash.

Coffee shop worker Logan said, “Both of my usual pairs of trousers were unavailable so I had to look at my limited options. They were not good.

“I’ve got some Bermuda shorts I wore to a fancy dress party years ago which I don’t even feel comfortable wearing alone in the house.

“There was an ancient pair of chinos, but I bought them a decade ago so there’s no chance of doing them up without internal organ damage.

“I thought I might be able to wear the jeans I had before my current two pairs, but the zip’s bust and there are two large holes in the crotch. If I go out wearing these I’m basically a flasher.

“My only option is to put on the Bermuda shorts and buy some new trousers. Hopefully people will think I’m an eccentric millionaire, not a middle-aged loser who should have his shit more together than this.

“But they won’t.”