A MAN has admitted he only goes to the cinema to indulge in righteous fury at the prices.
Martin Bishop insisted his outrage was far more satisfying than a beautifully crafted story about sexual awakening, or watching comic book characters kick each other in the chest for two hours.
He added: “Much like a superhero film, it is somewhat formulaic, but I enjoy it tremendously.
“Ten quid for three hours parking. How do these sons of bitches sleep at night? Like babies, that’s how. Because they’re evil.
“Twelve fucking quid for a ticket. Utter bastards. Perhaps it would be cheaper if the actors – who do sod all anyway, it’s all just CGI – were paid five million instead 10 million. Arseholes.
“And I have to pay extra for a big comfy seat just to watch Robert Downey Jr wank it out one more time and then get all po-faced when people don’t appreciate him as a fucking ‘artist’.
“And then there’s the fizzy drinks and the popcorn. I will not rest until I know the profit margin on that bollocks.
“It’s a really good night out.”