Man in his 40s still dicking about with his hair

A MAN is still experimenting with fashionable hairstyles despite reaching the age where it is pointless.

46-year-old IT consultant Tom Logan most recently opted for a spiky gelled look, which has the unfortunate effect of highlighting his much older face and body.

Friend Wayne Hayes said: “Tom resembles an overweight member of a boy band who’s been prematurely aged in a time machine. I’m pretty sure that’s not the look he wanted.

“His hair obsession is so wrong. You finish dicking about with your hair in your 30s, then your 40s are for carrying around a lot of keys and dicking about with barbecues.

“Tom’s had a quiff, Paul Weller hair and something called ‘frosted tips’. However the style he should be getting is ‘generic dad hair’, because then we can all stop cringing for him.”

Logan said: “I love it. Next time I might get something shaved in or dangle some beads off my fringe. You’ve got to move with the times.

“There’s something about a man in his forties with cool hair and really fashionable trainers that just seems to make everyone smile.”

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Parents avoid hassle of going to theme park by emptying wallets into bog

AN ingenious couple have saved themselves a whole day of queuing at Thorpe Park by just emptying their wallets into the toilet.

Parents Emma and Nathan Muir decided to calculate the cost of the day and flush it, while making their children form queues in the comfort of their own home.

Dad Nathan said: “The kids have been begging to go to Thorpe Park for months, but once they’ve stopped crying and threatening to run away they’ll see this is actually better.

“Instead of getting up at 5am and having a three-hour drive with the children punching each other all the way, we got up at a sensible time and watched a slideshow of motorway traffic.

“Then we got the full theme park experience by standing in a line in the hallway for an hour and a half. There wasn’t a ride at the end of it but they only last a minute or two anyway.”

Emma Muir agreed: “It’s not like they’re missing out. Later we’re going to make them queue for ages outside in the rain. Then they get one go each on the slide while I take a picture on my mobile.

“Then they can decide whether to buy the picture for an extortionate £20. It’s expensive but it’s nice to have a reminder of such a magical day.”