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Man wearing Ramones T-shirt asked if he knows there are newer bands

A MAN wearing a Ramones T-shirt in 2026 has been asked if he is aware there is more recent music.

36-year-old Tom Logan has been quizzed over whether his Ramones T-shirt, worn in honour of a band who broke up 30 years ago, is because he is oblivious to the endless amount of quality music which has been released since

Curious passerby Martin Bishop said: “I get it. Blitzkreig Bop and I Don’t Wanna Be Sedated are bangers. But they’re also less than five minutes long in total and 50 years old.

“You can’t keep living in an antiquated New York music scene. You’d think it was weird if someone in 1976 refused to move past their Fats Waller records from the Roaring Twenties. This is the same.

“Hasn’t he got bored of them? I mean, they’re a bit samey. Even the most dedicated fan must admit they’re not really a band into artistic growth.

“I’m concerned for him. Either he’s been cut off from the world for the five decades or he’s wilfully tuned out great new acts like Billie Eilish and Tyler, the Creator. Both explanations are pretty sad.”

Logan said: “What? There’s been music since the Ramones? F**k. I thought Oasis was just a sportswear brand.”

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England: did they lose to Japan because they're too into anime?

ENGLAND lost against Japan yesterday, so there must be a hidden reason. Was it because their internet-addled players are obsessed with anime? 

Take Phil Foden. Aged a tender 25, there can be little doubt he grew up on a non-stop diet of Japanimation on Crunchyroll. Was his inability to penetrate the defence because, haunted by Ranma 1/2, he feared that if splashed with water they would become women?

Was Palmer’s lack of creativity because, raised on shonen, he believed that an incisive pass would see Kamada unsheath a nine-foot long sword from his hair? It seems likely.

And Mainoo is, anyone could tell from his pressing, an unapologetic seinen addict. To him, scoring a goal would be like a cat leaping on a table at the Rokuhōdō tea shop – divisive, unnecessary and delaying spiritual fulfilment for its customers.

So cowed were our young players by playing the nation that created Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood they were unable to play football. Unlike Noctis, Ignis, Gladiolus and Prompto in Final Fantasy XV, they were unable to work as a team.

And while this may not be an issue when playing Croatia, Ghana and Panama in the World Cup, we are pre-tournament so must wildly overreact to the team’s perceived flaws as this is the English way.

Abandon training. The team needs to spend every spare hour watching classic British animation from Morph to Yellow Submarine to The Snowman until it lives in their heads. Until they too are as clumsily but warmly animated as Ivor the Engine. 

Only then will we win the World Cup as is our destiny and has been since 1966, but curiously has yet to happen due to factors such as vuvuzelas, the Baden-Baden WAGs and opposing players winking. But it will be different this time.

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