A MAN who bought an expensive Bose surround sound system for his tiny living room is looking for new ways to spunk away his income.
Sales executive Nathan Muir feels he should fritter more cash after the top-of-the-range ‘kit’ failed to make any noticeable difference to his quality of life.
Muir said: “You can literally hear the sound all around you. Admittedly my old speakers did that and I mainly just listen to Ed Sheeran but it’s brilliantly expensive.
“I live in a semi so I can’t have it too loud but it’s ‘6.1 technology’ so it must be good. I’d hate to be some twat with ‘5.1’ or a total loser with ‘4.1’.
“However I’m a bit disappointed it hasn’t solved all my problems in life, like my lack of meaningful relationships. The obvious conclusion is that I didn’t spend enough money.
“I think my next purchase needs to be a stupidly large telly with a menu that’s harder to operate than a space shuttle.
“I’m also researching the most overpriced virtual reality headsets. Spending a huge amount of cash on something that useless will definitely mask the emptiness.”
Muir is currently placing an order for a £595 microwave kettle you can operate remotely with your phone for some reason.