A MAN who everyone assumed was lying about his “passion for telemarketing” has a genuine love of the shitty, time-wasting career.
Martin Bishop’s bosses at Telelink Solutions assumed he was just saying the right things in the interview for the cold-calling job, but now fear he may be evil.
Bishop said: “I love everything about telemarketing – the little headset, the soulless office, annoying hundreds of people a day with my ‘Have you had an accident recently?’ bullshit.
“I particularly enjoy being persistent when they’re clearly not interested. For me every second of their time I waste is a glorious victory.
“The best calls are when you make a confused elderly person all agitated and frightened. If one of their children is visiting and tells me to fuck off I just think ‘Job well done!’.
“Am I a bit strange? I don’t think so. I’ve got lots of perfectly normal hobbies like cutting the wings off bees and burning them to death with lighter fluid.”
Bishop’s boss Mary Fisher said: “I assumed Martin’s ‘passion for telemarketing’ was a lie but it’s not. He’s actually described it as ‘better than sex’ so now I try to avoid touching anything on his desk.
“He does work hard though.We’re not sure whether to give him a pay rise or have him sectioned under the Mental Health Act.”