A MIDDLE-CLASS family are fuming about the top-of-the-range pizza oven, complete with brick surround, that they are currently having built in their garden.
The Logans have already paid over-the-odds for a large treehouse their children rarely use, a water feature that attracts rats, and a garden office pod too cold to be used nine months of the year.
Solicitor Tom Logan said: “Look at the f**king thing. Two grand that cost. And we’ll have to be out here cooking pizzas all bloody summer, too.
“Just because we drive an SUV and are proud MyWaitrose card carriers, there’s now this ridiculous expectation that we knead our own dough and have friends over for authentic pizza in our own bastard garden. Arseing hell.
“The bricklayer is dicking around royally with intricate patterns so we can one-up our friends and now he’s saying he wants to showcase the finished thing on his website. I can’t believe how hard our lives are.
“Christ, I’ll be here banking a fire for pizza while my builder neighbour relaxes in his hot tub, not even changing out of his trunks to collect their Domino’s order. It’s f**king shit being middle-class.”
