A PENSIONER on a mobility scooter has confirmed that riding it around town is just as cool and kick-ass as it appears.
Norman Steele, aged 74, was bought the scooter by his children after a knee operation and now believes his local shopping precinct to be the post-nuclear outback and himself to be a geriatric Mad Max.
He said: “This bad boy? F**king rules.
“Sure, it only goes eight miles per hour, but you’ll be surprised how fast that seems when you aim it at a gang of pavement-blocking students. They are.
“Technically that’s not street legal, but the filth can’t touch me. Know what else? No such crime as drink-driving on this motherf**ker. Oh yeah. Can’t even be breathalysed.
“You should see the faces when I drive it straight into the post office. Everyone’s all ‘No way, he can’t do that’, then they see me grin and they’re all ‘Well sh*t, I guess he can.’
“Now get out of my way, ars*holes. I’ve got a pension to collect.”