Wednesday, 5th August 2020

Neighbours surely can't fit any more shit in their garden

THE family next door surely cannot fit any more shit in their garden, say concerned neighbours.

The Baxter family have spent the past few months steadily filling the outdoor space of their semi-detached new-build house with various entertainment items, to the point that it now resembles the map of a theme park.

Neighbour Nikki Hollis said: “They already had a sizeable shed. Then came the greenhouse, then the swing, then the f**king massive trampoline.

“I thought that’d be it. That was still April. Then they added outdoor sofas, a barbecue, a chiminea and what appears to be either a sculpture or some sort of sacrificial altar.

“Then yesterday there’s this blue thing, beyond the second shed, that appears to be an outdoor pool. Surely that’s it? Surely that’s the limit?

“The strange thing is that we never see them out there any more, probably because it’s so hard to navigate. But their cats are having a great time.”

Janine Baxter said: “We’ve ordered an inflatable hot tub. Well there’s no holidays this year is there?”