THE majority of next year will be spent vacantly staring at nothing and daydreaming about shagging, scientists have confirmed.
With the pandemic rumbling on and cost of living set to increase in 2022, all other activities that might usually be fantasised about, such as tropical holidays or buying a new house, will be abandoned in favour of hot sex.
Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “While most of our aspirational imaginings seem ever further away and not worth bothering with, there are always opportunities for thinking about intercourse.
“Even if 2022 is so dire that you end up living in your neighbour’s bin shed, you can have some wild escapist fantasies about banging the refuse collectors or the woman who lays the rat traps.
“The trick is not to get so divorced from reality that you forget that you are in a meeting or performing open heart surgery, or whatever it is you’re meant to be doing.
“Most people are good at hiding it, but getting so into a fantasy that you shout ‘Oh, yes, harder, you stud!’ when asked a question about the marketing budget could lead to embarrassment or, indeed, dismissal.”
