A MAN heartily singing Auld Lang Syne barely even bothers to send an emoji to old mates, it has emerged.
Jack Browne is ringing in 2022 by holding hands in a weird way and singing about remembering acquaintances, even though he has not even scanned his WhatsApp groups in months.
Distant friend Ryan Whittaker said: “I’m not expecting Jack to send one of those long paragraph texts where he apologises for drifting apart and drunkenly reveals that he always thought I was a bloody good mate. Although that would be nice.
“But he’s completely betrayed the noble intentions of the song’s lyrics by not even sending a generic ‘Happy New Year!’ I’d kid myself that he sent it to me directly instead of just spamming everyone with a blanket message, we could all move on.
“He’s out there singing it but he’s not living by its principles. I haven’t had a text from him since the pandemic kicked off. Auld acquaintance has been thoroughly forgot in my case.
“I’ll be the bigger person and get the ball rolling by sending a message first. Yeah, you know what? Let’s get 2022 off to a great start by doing exactly that.”
Checking his phone, Browne said: “New message from ‘Ryan’? Doesn’t ring a bell. Delete.”