No one cares how tired you are

EVEN though it has been a really tough week and you are absolutely knackered no one gives a shit, it has been confirmed.

Research has revealed that being really tired is not enough to solicit genuine sympathy however much you drone on about it.

Office worker Wayne Hayes, 28, said: “I was really knackered from watching Stranger Things until 3am, so naturally I expected people would be concerned and sympathetic.

“But when I kept yawning and saying how exhausted I was to Louise at work she just said ‘Maybe you should have a coffee’ with about as much compassion as a dead-eyed butcher quartering his hundredth chicken of the day.   

“Also I’m supposed to be going out tonight but I can barely keep my eyes open let alone enjoy myself in a trendy wine bar. Where is people’s compassion?”

Professor Henry Brubaker of The Institute for Studies said: “Tired people should ask themselves a question. Are they ‘kids, busy job and domestic duties’ tired?   

“Or are they ‘on social media till 2am’ tired? Either way no one gives even the remotest of fucks.”