Friday, 30th October 2020

Retired parents begin epic quest to buy a new frying pan

A WOMAN’S elderly parents have set out on a quest to replace a non-stick frying pan which could take weeks or even years.

Donna Sheridan’s mum and dad reluctantly accepted that the pan – worth £8 – was no longer functioning properly after several weeks of monitoring its ability to prevent fried eggs sticking.

Sheridan said: “There was a sombre atmosphere in the house, like a bereavement. But I know from past experience that what is to follow will be far worse.

“Mum looked at similar frying pans in Sainsbury’s last week, but didn’t want to ‘take the plunge’. Instead she thought it best to discuss it with dad, which so far has taken about three hours over several nights.

“They spent the weekend comparing frying pans on Amazon, Homebase and John Lewis, but now they’ve gone off the idea of buying one online because of Russian hackers.

“Where we’re at now pan-wise is a tentative plan to go to the big Asda 15 miles away. Although last night they did a lot of soul-searching about whether they should be eating fried breakfasts at all.”

Sheridan’s mum has now put the purchase on hold while she asks her sister Barbara what sort of frying pan she owns, at which point Donna went into the garden and screamed.