A TERRIFYING church with a flat roof is frequented by worshippers who look like they would shank you just to get a quid for the collection plate.
Saint Saviour’s dominates a housing estate in Swindon and is viewed by many locals as a no-go area full of angry Christians looking for a fight.
Resident Martin Bishop said: “It was built on the estate in the 1960s to be a friendly focal point for the community, but these days it just attracts trouble. The police are in there most weekends.
“I popped by last Christmas as they were singing carols, and the floor was sticky with communion wine and half the stained glass windows were boarded up.
“Helen, the elderly church warden, approached me. She had one hand on a collection plate and the other hand inside her cardigan. Did she have a knife? A hammer? I didn’t take any chances and emptied my wallet. She smirked and said ‘Peace be with you’ in a very threatening way.
“I’m not going in there again, I’d rather face my soul burning in eternal hell than those mad faithful bastards.”
Reverend Norman Steele said: “Sadly, a lot of people find a church environment intimidating and that’s why our congregation is dwindling. I do hope more locals start attending soon or I’ll have to f**k them up.”