STUDENTS living on less than £50 a month are complaining as if they are usually meant to be flush with cash, it has emerged.
After realising they have barely any money left to spend on booze and more booze once their accommodation has been paid for, undergraduates are reacting as if being perpetually broke is not the typical lifestyle of a university student.
English student James Bates said: “I don’t understand. Once my maintenance loan has covered my rent, bills and travel costs I’m left with next to nothing. Why didn’t anyone warn me this would happen?
“I’ll have to get a part time job which will be really easy to fit in around my eight hours of contact time per week. Although that’ll only leave me with most of my afternoons and evenings free to doss about drinking. It’s so unfair.”
Sociology student Lucy Parry said: “University is supposed to be the best years of your life, now that’s ruined because I’ll have to make and stick to a budget. Failing that I’ll just ask my parents to send over a few hundred quid which I’ll instantly blow on takeaways.
“Honestly I can’t wait until I graduate and this penny-pinching ordeal will be over. After all, a degree is a guaranteed ticket to a well-paid job, right?”
University chancellor Joesph Turner said: “Yeah, about that…”