HAVE you watched stylish chameleon assassin Villanelle in Killing Eve and decided you could probably pull off that one outfit, the one with the hat? Think again:
Velvet jacket with ruffled neckline
On Villanelle – charismatic, smoky and dangerous. On you – a magician in a Vegas restaurant.
Comic-book onesie
If you brazen it out, your friends and work colleagues will assume you’re doing a sponsored thing and, afraid they’ll have to give ten quid, will not mention it. Strangers will ask if you have a carer.
Satin coat over slip dress
Sophisticated? No, more like ready to greet the 1970s milkman with a seductive smile to lure him upstairs for sex to saxophone music.
Red-and-white printed sundress
Now you look like you’ve been caught outside naked, possibly during the chain of events that began with seducing the milkman, and have fashioned a dress from a tablecloth stolen from a nearby PTA meeting.
Pussy-bow blouse and denim shorts
In the future we will have Smart Mirrors which can scan your outfit with lasers, compare it against a database and say ‘Are you out of your f*cking mind?’ They are first conceived of today, when their inventor sees you.
Frothy pink tulle dress
Did you lose a bet with your seven-year-old niece and now you have to spend the day as her own private ballerina?
