Tuesday, 4th August 2020

The six looks from Killing Eve you absolutely cannot carry off

HAVE you watched stylish chameleon assassin Villanelle in Killing Eve and decided you could probably pull off that one outfit, the one with the hat? Think again: 

Velvet jacket with ruffled neckline On Villanelle - charismatic, smoky and dangerous. On you - a magician in a Vegas restaurant.

Comic-book onesie If you brazen it out, your friends and work colleagues will assume you’re doing a sponsored thing and, afraid they’ll have to give ten quid, will not mention it. Strangers will ask if you have a carer.

Satin coat over slip dress Sophisticated? No, more like ready to greet the 1970s milkman with a seductive smile to lure him upstairs for sex to saxophone music.

Red-and-white printed sundress Now you look like you’ve been caught outside naked, possibly during the chain of events that began with seducing the milkman, and have fashioned a dress from a tablecloth stolen from a nearby PTA meeting.

Pussy-bow blouse and denim shorts In the future we will have Smart Mirrors which can scan your outfit with lasers, compare it against a database and say ‘Are you out of your f*cking mind?’ They are first conceived of today, when their inventor sees you.

Frothy pink tulle dress Did you lose a bet with your seven-year-old niece and now you have to spend the day as her own private ballerina?