There’s no good time to say this but we always hated you, empty-nesters tell boomerang kids

EMPTY-NESTER parents have told their adult children not to move back home because they never liked them and they were a mistake. 

The phenomenon of ‘boomerang kids’, who keep returning home well into their 30s, is resented by their parents who had sincerely hoped they would emigrate to New Zealand.

Joseph Turner, from Uttoxeter, told his daughter: “Listen, love, it’s not that we want your room free. It’s that we don’t want you in it.

“We didn’t like you as a baby, or a toddler, or a child, or a teenager and as it turns out you’re no fun at all as an adult. Funny how things turn out.

“We should never have had children, and I accept that’s our error, but we paid for that with 18 years of your presence and that’s over now. We’ve done our time.

“It’s sad that your marriage has broken up but ours hasn’t, in fact it’s better than ever and it’ll continue to be as long as you stay the fuck away from it.”

He added: “Why don’t you move in with your brother? He’s a useless twat as well, so we’re sure you’ll get on.”