Wednesday, 30th September 2020

Trousers are weird, homeworkers realise

HOMEWORKERS have admitted they cannot imagine wearing anything other than pyjamas or dressing gowns ever again.

The notion of putting on ‘normal’ clothes has been entirely eroded after a month in lockdown, with people resenting having to maintain even the most basic hygiene standards.

Tom Logan said: “Do you remember when we all wore trousers to go out to work? What were we thinking with that?

“Now the idea of wearing anything but a pair of food-stained pyjama bottoms and a moth-eaten t-shirt to impress people seems like something from Victorian times.

“To think that I spent 30 years of my life wearing those cloth leg prisons is almost as upsetting as remembering all the times I put on deodorant. What a waste.”

Experts are predicting that should lockdown be prolonged beyond June the nation will eschew clothing entirely, except perhaps for one wipeable poncho.

Homeworker Emma Bradford said: “For the sake of my marriage I need this thing to end before boxer shorts with big holes in become standard casual wear.”