Wednesday, 12th August 2020

Veganism and six other things that aren't really happening right now

THE last month has been a bonfire of high-minded intentions in the face of reality. So what have you given up on? 

Being vegan

There’s a time and place for making a radical change to your diet, and it turns out a global pandemic isn’t it. All those people preaching about plant-based diets three months ago are back on the sausages, and loving it.

Only reading books by women

Did you resolve to spend 2020 only reading books by women to give you a fresh perspective on the world? And yet here we are two weeks into lockdown and you’re balls-deep in re-reading Sven Hassel’s panzer regiment books.

Pop-ups

Whether it’s a vintage clothing boutique, an Indonesian street food stall or a neo-R&B club night, there are no pop-ups. There are barely any permanent shops. Pop-up online if you want. See how that works for you.

Duolingo

What the f**k would be the point of learning a new language now?

Extinction Rebellion

In one sense, the Extinction Rebellion environmental protest movement has stopped dead. In another more direct sense, half the world is quietly rebelling against extinction right now. Just without glueing themselves to roads.

Training for a Tough Mudder or whatever

Difficult as it is to accept, nobody gives a toss about your Tough Mudder or Himalayan trek or whatever anymore. And even harder to accept, they never did.

Brexit

Face it. Nobody cares. Everyone’s moved on. You’ve got the excuse you’ve been praying for, Boris.