Tuesday, 7th July 2020

Vinyl fan preparing to be a pretentious pr*ck about CDs instead

A MAN who thinks vinyl records are now too mainstream has decided to become obsessive about compact discs instead.

Tom Logan was gutted by vinyl sales reaching a record high last year as he is no longer part of an elite group who think listening to fuzzy music on giant unwieldy discs is cool.

Logan said: “If I’m honest I like being a massive snob more than I like music. So it won’t be hard for me to ditch records in favour of obsessing about a first edition of ‘Brothers In Arms’ instead.

“It’s essentially still a brittle circle in a holder with a picture on the front that sounds worse than an MP3 and takes up a lot more space, so I’m confident I can be a twat about them as well.

“I’ll bore people rigid by going on about laser tracking and sound quality. It’ll be worse than when I used to show them my anti-static brushes.

“I’ll also talk a load of sh*te about participating in the ‘wonderful ritual’ of placing the disc in the player and carefully pressing play.

“People will think I’m a real w*nker. It’s going to be great.”