POST-BREXIT rules could spell the end of French exchange trips for British schoolchildren. Leave voter Wayne Hayes explains why keeping your kids away from the French is for the best.
The French are all sex mad
If ‘Allo ‘Allo! taught us anything, it’s that the French are always running around trying to shag each other. As soon as he arrives there, the mother of the French host family will try to seduce your 17-year-old son. And how would you like it if your daughter got pregnant by some bloke who smells of Gitanes?
France is full of illegal immigrants
Even if your child survives going to France, while they’re waiting to catch the ferry back from Calais an illegal migrant could climb into their suitcase and get a free ride over here. And under this soft-touch government, you’d probably be forced to house them and get them free pizza every day.
We don’t need to learn French
Someone from UKIP told me before the referendum that the EU were going to force us all to learn foreign languages, so it’s a good job we left when we did. Why should we have to speak French? Nobody in my cul-de-sac does. English has got words for everything we need from omelettes to maisonettes.
The food’s disgusting
I’m not letting my kids go over there and eat crap like frog legs, horses, snails and garlic. I’ll stick with Tesco, thanks, rather than getting my dinner from a pond. And I’m not going to have some poncey French kid come here and turn their nose up at us when we give them McDonald’s every day.
France might get invaded
You know what would happen if France got invaded again? That’s right, they’d surrender. And you don’t want your son or daughter getting stuck across the Channel until England has to go and save the day again.