A WOMAN has scored a new personal best in her time between putting on heels for the day and deeply regretting it.
Emma Howard, aged 31, once again judged her personal love of having slightly longer legs to outweigh her hatred of balancing on sticks, and realised she had made the wrong choice just 9.83 seconds after it was too late to change it.
She said: “It’s so liberating. Other women don’t realise it was a bad idea to wear heels at 10.35pm, when they carry them to get away from shouting drunk blokes.
“But these days I can spot that I’ve made an agonising mistake seconds after walking down three flights of stairs from my flat and if I go back I’ll miss the bus.
“I can spend the whole day relaxed in the knowledge that I’ll be walking far slower, I’ll be knackered and everything will be that little bit more f**king dreadful. Hooray for me.”
Emma will spend the day with her colleagues Amy, who can recognise within minutes that her bra will give her backache and Kelly, British record-holder for realising her knickers will spend all day riding up her arse.