Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Woman unsure if she's in hipster cafe or millennial office

A WOMAN who walked into a building full of young people working on Macbooks on wooden tables is unsure whether she should buy a coffee or ask for start-up funding. 

Londoner Eleanor Shaw passed the window of a place full of comfortable cushions and filament light bulbs and took a punt on it being somewhere she could either get a croissant or develop an app.

She said: “They gave me a flat white and drew a handlebar moustache on the foam, so that’s not conclusive either way.

“It was full of pot plants, there was a bicycle on the wall and I was shown a chair and given the wifi code, so I was leaning toward café.

“But everyone was joylessly tapping away at their Macs exactly like an office, not looking up or making any conversation, but then again maybe that’s because it was a café and none of them knew each other.

“I never did found out which it was. They all ignored me while I drank my coffee so I f*cked off without paying. Or getting £150,000 of seed investment. Either way.”