Tuesday, 4th August 2020

Woman who asked for 'civilised' hen do realises she's made a terrible mistake

A WOMAN who told friends organising her hen do that she did not want anything involving penis straws, sashes or getting absolutely sh*tfaced is regretting her actions.

Francesca Johnson, 32, said she wanted a classy event involving tea and cake, yoga and a spa, but was so bored after two hours she wished she was at a pole dancing class after necking 10 Jägerbombs.

Johnson said: “I thought I was being sophisticated by banning all the usual hen do activities, but now I understand that people need to get wasted and act like tw*ts just to get through the day.

“The combination of my mum, my boyfriend’s sister, my best friend from primary school and several university mates was incredibly awkward. 

“They’re all total strangers to each other and I forced them to pay the best part of £300 to make awkward conversation for a weekend without the social lubricant of 40 bottles of Prosecco and a blow-up penis.”

Johnson’s friend Nikki Hollis said: “The best thing about hen dos is that you get so tw*tted you can’t remember a thing about them, whereas the tedium of this one will be etched onto my mind forever.”