A WOMAN who claims she ‘loves hoovering’ is trying to erase something deeply sinister from her past, her family suspects.
Barry Jones said his wife Susan ‘has always quite enjoyed hoovering’, but added: “Lately she’s been hoovering an awful lot, while muttering stuff like ‘it was my money anyway’ and ‘I covered my tracks’.
“Sometimes she goes into a sort of trance, and keeps hoovering the same bit of carpet over and over. She comes out of it by screaming for about 30 seconds, and then she acts all cheerful, like she doesn’t realise what she’s just done.
“I don’t really know what to do. On the one hand, it’s terrifying the kids, but on the other, the carpets really are spotless.”
Susan Jones said: “I don’t know what everyone’s so worked up about. I’ve had a totally normal, murder-free life and there’s absolutely nothing gnawing away at my conscience round the clock, keeping me awake at night and haunting my dreams.
“I need to buy a new Dyson, but it’s okay I can easily afford it.”