Wednesday, 26th February 2020

Woman's bold new haircut fails to deliver bold new personality

A WOMAN with a dramatic new haircut has discovered she is still the same person.

Joanna Kramer hoped that taking the plunge at the hairdresser would instantly transform her into a confident go-getter with a crazy sense of humour, exemplary eating habits and the ability to say things out loud in meetings.

Kramer said: “I thought, ‘New hair, new me!’ But actually I now have a stressful, complicated haircut that I’ve no idea how to style.

“When I came out of the salon I thought I could almost be mistaken for Scarlett Johansson. However, as soon as I washed it I looked like Beaker from the Muppets.

“The worst thing is, if I do get it looking right, strangers mistake me for someone much cooler than I actually am. They’re expecting Beyoncé and getting Ann Widdecombe.

“I’m going to grow it out and get a makeup consultation instead. Wearing bright red lipstick would instantly make me fascinating, right?”