A WOMAN’S primeval foraging instincts kicked in as she searched through the wilderness of TK Maxx for anything she might actually wear.
Lauren Hewitt spent close to an hour scavenging through racks of out-of-season skiwear, bizarrely-sized sports clothes and strange shoes, intent on finding something of use to her or her family.
Hewitt said: “Your senses need to be finely tuned in a jungle as untamed as TK Maxx. Every other person here is a competitor for the few pieces of wearable clothing sold in this savage hellscape of a shop. It’s survival of the fittest.
“I nearly got into a fist-fight with a woman after we both spotted a Nina Ricci top amongst all the other weird tat. I’d concealed myself behind a rack of XXXL kimonos waiting to pounce when she swooped in and caught the prey before I got there.
“However, I was lucky enough to track down a fake Le Creuset pan after a lengthy search through the wilds of the homeware section. I couldn’t help but raise it above my head and utter a loud guttural cry of triumph knowing that I’d helped my tribe survive another day.”
TK Maxx employee James Bates said: “That lady comes in all the time. She seems absolutely deranged.”