THE nation’s advertisers have performed their customary about-turn from encouraging over-consumption of all kinds to calling you a fat twat.
As the year changed from 2023 to 2024, advertisers ceased proffering trays of chocolates or party nibbles to instead chastise you for not subscribing to a health programme or joining a gym.
Nathan Muir of Skipton said: “Why have you taken the Tia Maria away? Just two days ago, you were telling me I deserved it and I gratefully concurred.
“Now you’re saying I need a weight loss journey app where I get regular voicemails from doctors, a solid time in a 10k and a Peleton to be happy and fulfilled? When last month it was a tin of Celebrations and a selection of luxury crisps?
“Also it seems to be imperative I book my holiday now. I’m not booking my holiday now. It’s January.”
Media buyer Carolyn Ryan said: “Fat is out, thin is in, throw away everything you bought last month and buy entirely new things for a new life of extreme self-denial.
“I’ve taken up the Big Narstie Slimfast diet. The shakes are alright but I’m struggling to smoke the necessary weed.”