Thursday, 15th April 2021

Boris naked outside Westminster on rope after being caught shagging Gove's wife a 'non-story', says BBC

THE BBC will not report on Boris Johnson absailing down Westminster Palace naked after being caught in flagrante with Sarah Vine because it is a ‘non-story’. 

BBC journalists have explained that covering the unclothed prime minister swinging on a bedsheet rope is ‘not in the public interest’.

Helen Archer of Newsnight said: “So Gove, Rees-Mogg and the Speaker of the House walked into the Stranger’s Bar to find Boris making love to Mail columnist Sarah Vine on a bed of £5 million in public cash? So what?

“I don’t think Britain at large really cares if he ran for it nude, knotted bedsheets together, leapt out of a window and is dangling 90 feet above the Thames, buttocks pressed against glass while the Archbishop of Canterbury recoils shocked inside.

“Does it really matter that Michael Gove is stalking the corridors of the Commons with a shotgun, vowing to ‘get that two-timing double-dealing snake’ and has already shot two MPs and a peer in error? Not to our audience.

“Let’s focus on the real issues, like Slough’s new flood prevention scheme and the BBC director-general Tim Davie definitely not standing behind me right now.”

Later today the BBC will lead on an investigation into new questions about legal action regarding an inquiry into possible irregularities in Nicola Sturgeon’s campaign funding structure, in the interests of balance.